KITTENS.
I've been feeling just about 95% Beyonce since school started and let me just say, it's fantastic. So with that being said, ladies (and gents too, we ain't gotta gender this), empower yoselves.
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Dear Ex-Boyfriends,
I shall begin this letter by calling you each out by name.....................................................PSYCH!
If any of you are currently reading this, omg WHAT that's so funny. But then again, I can't say I'm surprised. We all know that as exes we like to low key keep up with what our former significant others are doing now.
But anyways, I want to start off by saying you were pretty good. I was pretty good too. We were both pretty good together, just not great, but that's okay. The good thing about relationships are that even though you start in one place, you usually end in a completely different one. It's almost always a place where we never thought we'd be, but somehow are finding ourselves in.
To be wholeheartedly honest, some of you got away with things you shouldn't have (you all know who I'm talking about). I'm sure I got away with things too, but if there's one thing I've learned from dating all of you, it's that I should stand up more for who I am and how I should be treated (not that any of you were super jerks, but let's be honest). Being a senior in college has really showed me that it's all about trust and courage, relationship or not. But either way, thanks for reminding me that I deserve the world, past boyfriends; that's what everyone deserves. And in all fairness to myself, I'm over you now, thanks for lots of 90's Destiny's Child and TLC. I don't even have to ask why you're acting shady and not calling me baby, I can just leave it to my spotify player.
Another thing that never fails to make me laugh out loud is seeing pictures of you on the internet or passing you on the street. It's just like waving to my former self and remembering where I'm at now--and sometimes that warrants an LOL. Whenever I see you, I almost reference back to who I was when we were together and then realize that I'm my current self and it's a long time gone. Somehow this brings me peace--like we both enjoyed our time together (or at least I did) and now we're off doing different things and maybe enjoying our time with someone else (or more honestly, CATS). But either way, I just hope that ya'll are doin' okay. Like we shared some memories, so based solely on our shared humanity, I hope you're loving life. I'd hope that you'd wish the same for me, but I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't. It's cool either way, cos just like Beyonce says in 7/11, 'I know you care', you can just go on pretending that you don't.
I want you to know that even if things got messed up between us, each of you taught be some valuable lessons. I can safely say that I understand the power of communication, why it's important to know what you want in a relationship, and how to be a real individual while also being with someone else. I used to be so good at putting my self worth into our relationships, but I wish you would've made sure I didn't do that. My current self wishes she could tell my past self that there's more to life than you. There's more to life than all of us and that's both beautiful and amazing sad, all at once.
The last thing I've realized is that I have the tools to be happy and sorry to say it, but I don't need you to be happy. If anything, you should be an added happiness onto my already happy, fully-functioning, self-sufficient life. It feels good to know that I have the power to ask for what I need and deserve. I also feel like Beyonce about 95% of the time since senior year has started, so make no mistakes that I am empowered and will stand up for myself *insert peace sign emoji here*
Peace and blessings,
Kaitlin
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